dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
