Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So vagazzling was a success
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
