Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
