im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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