He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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