90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
