let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
