i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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