i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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