Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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