evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
