He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
