remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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