The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
