i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
