and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
