In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
