I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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