Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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