why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
