i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
