She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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