I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
