I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
