I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
