i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
