the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
