Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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