Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
