I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
