New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
