Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
