He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
