im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
