I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
