Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
