there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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