I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
