Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
