i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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