eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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