we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
