i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm always down for nudity.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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