Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He did a backflip because drugs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
