Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
