What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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