check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
