I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
