My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
