How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My dick has a subreddit
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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