Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
